屎Dynasty

sammich man

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 03:46:17 -0400

“I AM mad! They’re making me feel bad that I can’t make everyone a sandwich!” - Carlos the Alchemist, on Monday lunches & sandwiches

"I want to be a man."

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 16:40:32 -0400

“I want to be a man.”

- Onna-bugeisha Li, while studying physiology

"Women are complicated."

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 16:15:00 -0400

“Women are complicated.”

- Onna-bugeisha Li

"Where are you going with that chopfork?"

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 20:44:05 -0400

“Where are you going with that chopfork?”

- Peasant Lee, as Merchant Liu exits the house with a butter knife in hand, Cee Dynasty, 900 BC

Don’t you dare instagram that. —Carlos the Alchemist, Cee Dynasty 900 BC

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 00:39:00 -0400

Don’t you dare instagram that.

—Carlos the Alchemist, Cee Dynasty 900 BC

How to respond to insults of the lingerie variety

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 19:57:11 -0400

Peasant Lee: You know what I mean, bruh?

Ho Lai Shi: Yeah brah.

Peasant Lee: It's not brah, it's bruh. There's a difference!

Ho Lai Shi: Yeah bra.

Peasant Lee: Don't call me a bra. You need a bra, you manboob!

Korean television shows are srs business

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 19:28:08 -0400

Peasant Lee: If you tell me who got eliminated on Kpop Star, I'm going to stick this banana up your butt.

We're polyglots. But actually.

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 19:32:00 -0400

Ho Lai Shi: I have a big french paper due on Thursday :(

Viscountess Kwok: un largo français papier

Merchant Lee: *grand

Viscountess Kwok: uno? une?

Ho Lai Shi: largo n'est pas un mot francais...

Viscountess Kwok: je deteste le français correcteurs

Merchant Lee: C'est italiano

Viscountess Kwok: le correcteurs de francais*

Ho Lai Shi: mais tu es un homme.

Viscountess Kwok: non, tu madre es italiano

Ho Lai Shi: JAJAJA ME GUSTA CARLOS [THE ALCHEMIST]

Merchant Lee: 我是中国人！

Ho Lai Shi: lei de geuk hai ho wut dut

How do you pronounce 'Hors D'Oeuvres'?

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 15:33:22 -0400

The category for Scattergories is "Hors D'oeuvres".

Peasant Lee: What the heck are HORS DEVORS?!

A new way to respond to compliments of the exothermic kind

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 22:56:00 -0400

HO LAO SHI:

Merchant Lee, you’re hot.

MERCHANT LEE:

I know. Feel me.

a penny for the alchemist's thoughts

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 11:26:00 -0400

CARLOS THE ALCHEMIST:
(*pensively)
“you know, I was just looking at male genitalia earlier today..”

— wings with Carlos the Alchemist, Cee Dynasty 900 BC

gas and girls

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 13:34:00 -0400

PEASANT LEE:

I said music was okay, just no sports and no gas.
And she just has to hold it in until she’s 60.

HO LAO SHI:

I hope radical feminists come fart on your face.

—Peasant Lee and Ho Lao Shi on getting girls, Cee Dynasty 900 BC

#throwbacktuesdays #firstyearrealtalks

"I just like feeling the air on my skin! I wouldn’t mind wearing more clothes if I could feel..."

Fri, 08 Mar 2013 23:33:00 -0500

“I just like feeling the air on my skin! I wouldn’t mind wearing more clothes if I could feel more air!”

- Merchant Lee on living with a free spirit, Cee Dynasty 900 BC

Khana the Indian

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 15:03:00 -0500

Marcus: “Mom, you also met Carlos too.”

Marcus’s mom: “..Khana?

Marcus: “.. what? No, I said Carlos”

Marcus’s mom: “..was he Indian?”

A conversation between Peasant Lee and his mother
Whilst having dinner in Colborne Village Commons
Cee Dynasty, 900 BC

“I’m so sad.. all the chocolate is stuck to the top...

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 17:03:44 -0500

“I’m so sad.. all the chocolate is stuck to the top of the bag.”

Peasant Lee, Club Stauff, Cee Dynasty 900 BC

"I hate it when people are happy."

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 16:09:00 -0500

“I hate it when people are happy.”

- Viscountess Kwok, after seeing children gleefully eating candy

"It smelled like baked goods in washroom, maybe somebody pooped out cupcakes or something."

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 16:11:39 -0500

““It smelled like baked goods in washroom, maybe somebody pooped out cupcakes or something.””

- Peasant Lee, The Arc,
Cee Dynasty 900 BC

"Remove your clothes! Remove your clothes in the living room!"

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 16:10:28 -0500

““”Remove your clothes! Remove your clothes in the living room!”“”

- Peasant Lee, Colborne Village Commons, Cee Dynasty 900 BC

Calm but strong with merchant lee

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 02:23:31 -0500

#NowPlaying on @8tracks: “compass.” at http://8tracks.com/silfaerokai/compass - Sent from the 8tracks Android app

Empress Consort Ho: look at you drinking tea out of your hipster jar...

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 02:18:42 -0500

Empress Consort Ho: look at you drinking tea out of your hipster jar...

Merchant Lee: it's because I don't have mugs!

Empress Consort Ho: You do know that mugs are like a dollar at the dollar store right?

Merchant Lee: Yeah, but why would I spend a dollar on a mug when I can just get a jar from my closet for free?

Empress Consort Ho: why do you even have jars in your closet?!